It was the way that the August breeze engulfed her senses. The warm summer air would wrap around her and the humidity would linger for a while making her sundress stick to her skin. She stretched out beneath the clear blue sky as she studied the clouds through sepia toned lenses. The world seemed untouched when she was in nature, away from the hustle and bustle of the thousands and their agendas. The tall oak beside her cast its shadow between the golden sun and lush green grass. The branches stretched silhouettes over her like long skinny fingers picking at her dress and brushing at her hair. She exhaled, closed her eyes and relaxed into a sweet sleep.
The earthy-sweet smell of lavender tickled her nose and she woke up with a long sigh. She had been covered up by a thin antique quilt and a mason jar of lavender sat beside her with a cream colored envelope that read "Love Today". She sat up and looked around to see if anyone was around. Then, she became unsettled that someone had been near her while she was sleeping. She looked to her left, and then to the right--no one was there. She took the note in her hand and stood as her cotton sundress fell down below her knees and the strap off of her right shoulder. She did a small circle, cupped her hand over her eyes and looked out as far as she could see. Still, no one was there.
She took the old quilt and dragged it over to the tree, spread it out sleepily. The tree, peppered with bright green moss and small ants became a desk of sorts as she laid on her stomach and opened the letter against the tree's surfaced roots.The penmanship, more like an elaborate calligraphy from the past, was beautiful. The letter read,
My Lovely,
Yes, you are lovely. Do you truly know that? Do you know it in your heart with every bit of assurance?
Today, there are many things to do. There are bills to pay and appointments to keep. There's a "to do" list waiting for you and an abundance of obligations that you must make. Don't forget to check in on those you love and be there for those that love you. I cannot even begin to stress to you the importance of...
Wait. I just wrote that you are lovely. I just put pen to paper and explained that I want you to know in your heart with every bit of assurance that you are adored. I want you to truly understand that. So, allow me to remind you of what is important. That list of obligations--that's what you hold yourself to.
Today, you may not be able to meet those obligations. It's possible that you will wake up not feeling well. Appointments will have to be canceled and you may have to ask for help with that "to do" list. You may be able to complete one task, and even that may not be done to your satisfaction. Is that okay? Do you still know that you are lovely? Are you able to look at yourself in the mirror and see yourself for who you are and not what you can do? Do you have a sense of accomplishment even if all you can do today is dress yourself and care for yourself? Is life still beautiful even when it is not filled with your tasks of busyness and success?
Is the life that you have enough? When you compare yourself to everyone else and you feel like a failure in their shadow, are you living like you are lovely? When your opinion of yourself is built with your sense of failures and your lack of love for yourself--then you will not see that you are loved and valued. When you measure a day's worth in what you can accomplish and not in the extraordinary beauty of life itself then you will never truly live.
You are more than what even you can see. You are not broken despite a body that may be. You are lovely and I can't wait until you can see it for yourself. Until then, love today and love others like I have loved you.
xx
A soft roll of thunder vibrated behind the clouds. Then, the rain came. The drops began one by one and then fell into a steady flow. She winced in her sleep in anticipation of the rain falling on her face. Nothing happened. With her eyes closed, she stretched and let out a sigh. The smell of lavender was gone. She opened her eyes and found that she was lying in her queen size bed beneath her orange duvet, not an antique quilt. She rolled over and patted the mattress and then scanned her nightstand--there wasn't a letter in sight. The pain in her joints and muscles flooded back and she was instantly aware that it had all been a dream. Despite her pain, she smiled--it had been the most beautiful dream she had ever had. She reached over to the notepad and pen, drew a line through her entire "to do" list, and wrote the one task she knew she could accomplish for the day: love today.
