Godless Days

If He had been there then I would have known. 

There's a certain feeling I get when He is around. It's a security that reaches beyond a seat belt, guardrail, or parachute.  It has nothing to do with the external and everything to do with what's going on in my very heart and soul. I felt nothing.

If He had been there then she would have known.

There's a certain way that her tears form in the corner of her eyes that flow down her cheeks and land softly on her collar bone and disappear as they soak into her skin.  It has nothing to do with her tears and everything to do with Him catching them.  He didn't.

If He had been there then the child wouldn't hurt.

There's that little prayer he prayed on his knees next to his bed.  He prayed that he wouldn't dream of the monster again and that maybe his mommy would come back home.  It has nothing to do with being a kid and everything to do with being heart broken.  His mommy never came back.

If He had been there then-

she wouldn't have been raped
he wouldn't have lost his job
kids would have parents
infertile parents would have kids
students wouldn't be shot
bankruptcy wouldn't exist
people would be fed
abusers would be stopped
natural disasters wouldn't reek havoc
the world wouldn't be so broken

If He had been there.
If only He had been there.
If only.

These are the Godless days.

The days when tragedy invades our normal every day lives.
The moments when we are sure our lungs have stopped breathing and our heart has stopped feeling.
The times that we are certain our lives won't go on.

In the Godless days, there He is- God himself.
Despite not feeling Him.
Not understanding  Him.
Hating Him.


Alone
Despised
Scared

He did not cause our pain.
No, He met us in the middle of it.
With or without us knowing

A Dose of Hospitality

I have fallen in love with playing hostess. 

I used to be a "hostess" at a Chinese restaurant when I was 18...and I hated it.  There are only so many chances you get to please a Chinese boss. I ran out of chances quickly. I got yelled at for making the sweet tea the wrong way. When I tried to explain that yes, I did put sugar in the tea and no, I was not being rude -it didn't go over too well. Sweet Tea isn't even traditionally Chinese anyway! Why did they care? I guess because to have a Chinese Restaurant in Northeast Tennessee you have to draw people in with something you know they like to get them to try something different. The mounds of rice I had to vacuum off of the floor after toddlers toddled out of the restaurant got old very fast.  Let's just say I wasn't there long at all.

Now, years later...

I have discovered that having people over to our place for dinner, lunch, tea and coffee, and just to chat brings me so much joy. It is much different than working at a Chinese restaurant and I make the sweet tea the way I like it! If I could raid Target and Pampered Chef and get all of their kitchen gadgets and serving ware, I would! I have enjoyed getting by with what we have available to us right now, though and it has stretched me to be more creative.

I think the Italians have hospitality right! Actually, most of the world does. In America, it seems that life moves at a pace way too fast and the last thing we make time for is having people over for dinner. The act of hosting people for dinner creates opportunity to get to know people, become closer to them, and you get a great meal all at the same time!

I have become quickly addicted to all things Rachael Ray and as I try recipe after recipe I have found that sharing it with people makes it all the more exciting! There is just something so nice about opening your home to others and blessing them with free food and warm company.  I hope to become even better at being a hostess and I am eager to learn more cute and creative ideas.

My hope is to one day live closer to both my side of the family and Matt's side of the family so that I can host large and small family occasions. Matt and I have missed out on many family birthdays, anniversaries, Thanksgivings, Christmases.  I hope to make up for lost time one day!

Consider opening your home and being a hostess to those in need of a night off from the "norm". You will find so much joy in making yourself available.

New Year's Resolutions are so last year!

I'm on my way to the gym in a few minutes. It isn't because I made a resolution to be healthier in 2011. I'm having a girlfriend over for dinner next week.  It isn't because I made a New Year's resolution to be more hospitable. 

I have made resolutions in the past and have found that come March or April when I have totally failed at my new goal that I am left wishing I wouldn't have made a resolution in the first place.  I believe that goals are wonderful to have and I'm supportive of those who make those resolutions on January 1st of each new year.  I have concluded that this year, I'm not going to be part of the masses that make resolutions.  I'm going to wake up each morning and do what I can with that day.  The next morning, I will approach it as a new day and a new challenge.  I have goals of course, but I'm not going to stretch them over a whole year and hope I can stay committed. I'm doing more than that.  I'm taking each goal and seeing its value in each individual day.

Over the course of this year, my goals may change, but my determination to live life to the fullest each day will not.

I'm going to do the best with what I have.